Do You Know What I Mean?--Discovering Your Personal Communication Style

Interpersonal Communication Consulting
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A room with soft lighting, a small fountain that creates ambient sounds of water flowing, and a comfy chair can help facilitate interactions between a therapist and a patient. In summary, whether we know it or not, our physical characteristics and the artifacts that surround us communicate much. Avatars are computer-generated images that represent users in online environments or are created to interact with users in online and offline situations.

Avatars can be created in the likeness of humans, animals, aliens, or other nonhuman creatures. Avatars vary in terms of functionality and technical sophistication and can include stationary pictures like buddy icons, cartoonish but humanlike animations like a Mii character on the Wii, or very humanlike animations designed to teach or assist people in virtual environments.

More recently, 3-D holographic avatars have been put to work helping travelers at airports in Paris and New York. COM, May 22, , accessed June 28,. Tech: A Yahoo! Research has shown,though, that humanlike avatars influence people even when they are not sophisticated in terms of functionality and adaptability. Amy L.

Interpersonal Communication Consulting

Appearance has been noted as one of the most important attributes of an avatar designed to influence or motivate. Attractiveness, coolness in terms of clothing and hairstyle , and age were shown to be factors that increase or decrease the influence an avatar has over users.

People also create their own avatars as self-representations in a variety of online environments ranging from online role-playing games like World of Warcraft and Second Life to some online learning management systems used by colleges and universities. Research shows that the line between reality and virtual reality can become blurry when it comes to avatar design and identification. This can become even more pronounced when we consider that some users, especially of online role-playing games, spend about twenty hours a week as their avatar.

Avatars do more than represent people in online worlds; they also affect their behaviors offline. For example, one study found that people who watched an avatar that looked like them exercising and losing weight in an online environment exercised more and ate healthier in the real world. Jesse Fox and Jeremy M. Seeing an older version of them online led participants to form a more concrete social and psychological connection with their future selves, which led them to invest more money in a retirement account.

For example, experimental research showed that people using more attractive avatars were more extroverted and friendly than those with less attractive avatars, which is also a nonverbal communication pattern that exists among real people. Head movements such as nodding can indicate agreement, disagreement, and interest, among other things. Posture can indicate assertiveness, defensiveness, interest, readiness, or intimidation, among other things.

It takes you on a journey similar to what Bob offers in his training sessions and workshops, culminating in the discovery of your personal communication style. Discovering Your Personal Communication Style: Robert V. Keteyian: Books - unexigastral.tk Start reading Do You Know What I Mean ?

Eye contact provides turn-taking signals, signals when we are engaged in cognitive activity, and helps establish rapport and connection, among other things. Facial expressions can convey happiness, sadness, fear, anger, and other emotions. Touch operates at many levels, including functional-professional, social-polite, friendship-warmth, and love-intimacy. As we age, we internalize social and cultural norms related to sending encoding and interpreting decoding nonverbal communication.

In terms of sending, the tendency of children to send unmonitored nonverbal signals reduces as we get older and begin to monitor and perhaps censor or mask them. Likewise, as we become more experienced communicators we tend to think that we become better at interpreting nonverbal messages. In this section we will discuss some strategies for effectively encoding and decoding nonverbal messages. As with all aspects of communication, improving your nonverbal communication takes commitment and continued effort.

However, research shows that education and training in nonverbal communication can lead to quick gains in knowledge and skill. Additionally, once the initial effort is put into improving your nonverbal encoding and decoding skills and those new skills are put into practice, people are encouraged by the positive reactions from others. Remember that people enjoy interacting with others who are skilled at nonverbal encoding and decoding, which will be evident in their reactions, providing further motivation and encouragement to hone your skills.

Our competence regarding and awareness of nonverbal communication can help determine how an interaction will proceed and, in fact, whether it will take place at all. People who are skilled at encoding nonverbal messages are more favorably evaluated after initial encounters. This is likely due to the fact that people who are more nonverbally expressive are also more attention getting and engaging and make people feel more welcome and warm due to increased immediacy behaviors, all of which enhance perceptions of charisma.

Be aware of the multichannel nature of nonverbal communication. We rarely send a nonverbal message in isolation. For example, a posture may be combined with a touch or eye behavior to create what is called a nonverbal cluster. Nonverbal congruencerefers to consistency among different nonverbal expressions within a cluster. Congruent nonverbal communication is more credible and effective than ambiguous or conflicting nonverbal cues. In this sense, the multichannel nature of nonverbal communication creates the potential of both increased credibility and increased ambiguity.

When we become more aware of the messages we are sending, we can monitor for nonverbal signals that are incongruent with other messages or may be perceived as such.

If a student is talking to his professor about his performance in the class and concerns about his grade, the professor may lean forward and nod, encoding a combination of a body orientation and a head movement that conveys attention. If the professor, however, regularly breaks off eye contact and looks anxiously at her office door, then she is sending a message that could be perceived as disinterest, which is incongruent with the overall message of care and concern she probably wants to encode.

Increasing our awareness of the multiple channels through which we send nonverbal cues can help us make our signals more congruent in the moment.

4 Communication Styles

Changing our nonverbal signals can affect our thoughts and emotions. Knowing this allows us to have more control over the trajectory of our communication, possibly allowing us to intervene in a negative cycle. You might cross your arms, a closing-off gesture, and combine that with wrapping your fingers tightly around one bicep and occasionally squeezing, which is a self-touch adaptor that results from anxiety and stress.

The longer you stand like that, the more frustrated and defensive you will become, because that nonverbal cluster reinforces and heightens your feelings. Increased awareness about these cycles can help you make conscious moves to change your nonverbal communication and, subsequently, your cognitive and emotional states. As your nonverbal encoding competence increases, you can strategically manipulate your behaviors. The strategic use of nonverbal communication to convey these messages is largely accepted and expected in our society, and as customers or patrons, we often play along because it feels good in the moment to think that the other person actually cares about us.

Using nonverbals that are intentionally deceptive and misleading can have negative consequences and cross the line into unethical communication. As you get better at monitoring and controlling your nonverbal behaviors and understanding how nonverbal cues affect our interaction, you may show more competence in multiple types of communication. For example, people who are more skilled at monitoring and controlling nonverbal displays of emotion report that they are more comfortable public speakers. Our nonverbal communication works to create an unspoken and subconscious cooperation, as people move and behave in similar ways.

When one person leans to the left the next person in line may also lean to the left, and this shift in posture may continue all the way down the line to the end, until someone else makes another movement and the whole line shifts again. This phenomenon is known as mirroring, which refers to the often subconscious practice of using nonverbal cues in a way that match those of others around us.

Logically, early humans who were more successful at mirroring were more likely to secure food, shelter, and security and therefore passed that genetic disposition on down the line to us. They later told us that they were amazed at how we stood, threw our bags, and shifted position between rounds in unison. Mirroring is largely innate and subconscious, but we can more consciously use it and a variety of other nonverbal signals, like the immediacy behaviors we discussed earlier, to help create social bonds and mutual liking.

The ability to encode appropriate turn-taking signals can help ensure that we can hold the floor when needed in a conversation or work our way into a conversation smoothly, without inappropriately interrupting someone or otherwise being seen as rude.

However, the triggers for these expressions and the cultural and social norms that influence their displays are still culturally diverse. Physical movement helps me process information. Interestingly, a person with damage to the left hemisphere of the brain who loses the ability to speak can often still sing since the creation, but not the reading, of music is governed by the right brain. Gestures are nonvocal and nonverbal since most of them do not refer to a specific word like a written or signed symbol does. Although the states border each other and are similar in many ways, state pride and in-group identifications lead the people of South Dakota to perceive themselves to be different from the people of North Dakota and vice versa. For example, a pat on the back is an abbreviated hug. When we use our fingers to count, we are using emblematic gestures, but even our way of counting varies among cultures.

This regulating function can be useful in initial encounters when we are trying to learn more about another person and in situations where status differentials are present or compliance gaining or dominance are goals. Although close friends, family, and relational partners can sometimes be an exception, interrupting is generally considered rude and should be avoided.

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Active listening, for example, combines good cognitive listening practices with outwardly visible cues that signal to others that we are listening. Listeners should also avoid distracting movements in the form of self, other, and object adaptors. Being able to control nonverbal expressions and competently encode them allows us to better manage our persona and project a desired self to others—for example, a self that is perceived as competent, socially attractive, and engaging.

Being nonverbally expressive during initial interactions usually leads to more favorable impressions. So smiling, keeping an attentive posture, and offering a solid handshake help communicate confidence and enthusiasm that can be useful on a first date, during a job interview, when visiting family for the holidays, or when running into an acquaintance at the grocery store. Nonverbal communication can also impact the impressions you make as a student. Research has also found that students who are more nonverbally expressive are liked more by their teachers and are more likely to have their requests met by their teachers.

Nonverbal Communication: Chapter 4

Mottet, Steven A. Beebe, Paul C. Raffeld, and Michelle L. While it is important to recognize that we send nonverbal signals through multiple channels simultaneously, we can also increase our nonverbal communication competence by becoming more aware of how it operates in specific channels. Although no one can truly offer you a rulebook on how to effectively send every type of nonverbal signal, there are several nonverbal guidebooks that are written from more anecdotal and less academic perspectives.

Nonverbal Communication: Chapter 4 | Interpersonal Relations

The following guidelines may help you more effectively encode nonverbal messages sent using your hands, arms, body, and face. Mark L. Knapp and Kerry J. The following may help you more effectively encode nonverbal signals related to interpersonal distances. The following guidelines may help you more effectively encode nonverbal signals related to personal presentation and environment.

We learn to decode or interpret nonverbal messages through practice and by internalizing social norms. Following the suggestions to become a better encoder of nonverbal communication will lead to better decoding competence through increased awareness. Since nonverbal communication is more ambiguous than verbal communication, we have to learn to interpret these cues as clusters within contexts. My favorite way to increase my knowledge about nonverbal communication is to engage in people watching.

Just by consciously taking in the variety of nonverbal signals around us, we can build our awareness and occasionally be entertained.